SELF CONFIDENCE ISN'T AN ATTRIBUTE,IS A STATE - TENDER SINGLES

 

How to look self-confident on the date.

No way.

You have been told that self-confidence makes you attractive.

This is true.

You may also have heard how to act self-confident. Don’t walk. Don’t move glasses around the table. Don’t make faces. Don’t blush. Breath slowly. Don’t shake. Keep your heart rate at 62 per minute.

Forget it.

If self-confidence is the most attractive state, fake self-confidence is the least attractive one. Women are natural born body language readers. Educated men are out there too. Maybe they won’t realize that you think of your every move whether it looked like the way you practiced from YouTube yesterday, they will still feel that something is wrong.

Right after being self-confident, the second most attractive state is when you accept and admit that you are a bit nervous. You can tell your date that you are not experienced in online dating. Or you may admit that you like your date. Don’t hide your shaking hands. Hiding is pathetic. Show them with a smile: "Look, I’m nervous like a teenager on the first date". Don’t ask whether it is okay. Laugh on it. Period. Then open a table of chocolate.

Being open about your excitement has two advantages. Should they like you too, they will take it as a compliment. What’s better, it’s a honest compliment as they will see it on you. The best part is that admitting your lack of coolness is way bolder than trying to hide it. Being brave isn’t being without fear. Being brave is having fear and facing it. That makes you impressive.

The honest way is also better when your date doesn’t like you. In worst case they might ask: "Why would you like me already? Why are you nervous? You don’t know me. We met five minutes ago. Why do you take it so seriously?". At this point, you’ll know that they have even less self-confidence than you.

However, if they don’t like you and you commit the mistake of trying to look more self-confident or dominant than you are, it will likely lead to being tested, analyzed and criticized for one or two hours while you are trying to prove that you are strong.

By the way, self-confidence isn’t an attribute. It’s a state. Cleopatra and Marc Anthony had butterflies in their stomachs when they saw each other for the first time.

Do you know which date is sad? The date that has nothing to be excited or nervous about. When the only thing that stresses you is that you could just catch the bus nicely if you would leave right now but how to tell them.

Excitement is good.

Two hearts beating fast on the first date start a beautiful relationship.

It’s what I wish for you.

TENDER SINGLES.